recent

farid raser dirinyer smart. tp pantang dipegang jubur nyer, time orentiation dier dtg tiap2 hari nk bagi junior igt dier on the last day, seekor pown x igt namer dier.. hahahaha sadis2, xper, junior ader yg ok, tp ader gak yg cam kimak, so aku no komen sbb sofar lah most of the junior yg ngan aku ok lh, sedih gak tgk bdak BI sikit ciput nk mampus, paper ar the gud best news is ILANG dh abis HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

sukerr AKU!!! wahahahahahahahahah

rehab???? or brainwash?? or......

3 weeks has passed,
lots have happened in such, i cant tell which is real or not..
to many things gazed upon until i feel like im blind..
bad things.... good thing and ........bad things
i wonder about these, that happens
i cant seem to work it out...
then it snapped
its not about working out sometimes it can be accepting them rather than working out...
those that i never feared
now.
i believe i do...
loosing... impression...future...life...understanding...changes
its what the outside that fools people, yup but the outside that also attracts and impresses whats
but what to do that is just me...i am a rare serious fellow... but when i do..people make joke of it funny...
i am bad boy(true3)... and things are going bad ,,, i cant do anything
i just cant....

29 may 2009---1200am
guys of my batch made plans where they collected money and bought omega eggs and flour to get me down n dirty , just because its my birthday,
im quite pleased and frustrated because they wet my towel i had to bath with my kain sarung shit!!
but ok lh then nik gave me one to beat apit, lega sikit bah but the best part was my girl pown pakat ngan din nk kene kn aku

28 may 2009 --- 10.30pm
n she was excited to give me mt prest and a card, and to spend time with me tup tup meh pulak rojiah nasib baek x kantoi tp aku mmg bengang lg cannot spend much time with her yet it was great to see her that night,

now..... i miss her... hehe funny ,,, duk umah on9 and just missing her je lah keje aku...
sadis sadis

TRAGEDI 17 MARCH

she....

guess what i wanted to wish her so i waited untill 12 on 17 march
jeng jeng jeng
tiba lah sesi nk call

1st atempt 12 am 17 march
'tuut no yg anda dail sedang sibuk'
aik sibuk????
2nd attempt
'tuut no yg anda dail tidak dpt dihubungi'
and after a few atempts...................

the last atempt 1.58am 17 march
'tut.no yg anda.... tut.....' i hang up
so dgn hati yg sedih aku pown text lh die

hoping she will read it

then aku ke bilik mak aku dimane ader tv dan air cond hehehe
adik aku tido atas tilam dpn tv
lpas sepak and suwoh dier KETEPI!!!!!!
aku baring dn tgk THE NANNY hehehe
smbil tgk aku ter tido kat bilik mak aku where satu family ade kat situ

3.33am 17 march
dlm kesunyian mlm tetibe
kedengaran ringtone handset aku my boy lolipop
memule mcm xpecaye hp aku....
lh anset aku gak rupenyer
sbab terlalu bising n xnk org laen bgun aku pown jawab,
guess who!!!
dier call
hehehe

S ; hello
N ; sory2 td xperasan tertido then battery kong
S ; xper2 xmarah pown hehe, urm anyway happy birthday nas... (mamai)
N ; sory tau
S : xper2 esok call ok
N ; ok
S ; ok bye take care luv u

smbil aku tgh nk smbung tido
trdengar suare

MAK AKU: spe call tgh2 malam nie!!!
BAPAK AKU : saper2
ADIK2 AKU : abg nie kco org tido lh

dgn selamber nyer aku ckp

S: membe call nk tanyer pasal assigment
MAK AKU ; OOO MEMBE....

3 WORDS : START BEING YOURSELF

lately i haven't been writing a lot,
but
lately a lot has happened,
man i cant recap all of them, to many to many to many
yet i am quite surprise that i manage to survive all of them,
im proud man!!!! hehehe
but still
it is still pretty much agonizing, pain to much babe fuh!!!!!!!!!
hehehe
laugh when you cant laugh
smile when u want to cry
being happy when ur freaking sad and mad,
some of you might think man this guy got a hell of a life that sucks!!! everytime he writes its all about problems and problems
i know anybody want to trade shoes
hehe
what am i saying,
.........
i use to trust a fren
trust i mean for life,
now i dont
i dont any more
stab ive stab to many times to many people
13 years went down to drain just like that
i cant find the reason why,
whats life when u got no frens
whats life for when u have frens that cannot be trusted
then why do we need frens, i still have i didnt say i dont
but who can take 13 years from me
they did hehehehe
just like that........
nice isnt it
life is another word for problem
there is no life without problem
so u live with people to share with ur problems these are frens
when frens are like assholes.....
what must i do
and me myself
my type is very covering and pretending
problems are not meant for u to get overreacted with others, pissed of to others, scolding others
that sux,
but no matter what u don to cover ur wounds people still are affectes maybe not harshly but concern-ly, i guess
.......................
dunno what else to say ...
just speechless............
yeah one more thing the same asshole who fucked me, who i still call him my fren, told me something worth for the 13 years contract,
well actually i dunnow what he meat but that was the last thing he told me that for him is the last good thing he did for me
3 words that made me think again maybe he is right,
maybe he is telling something which make sense
still that 3 words still rings in my head i'll never forget it i guess,
i got to do something i guess,

Ee

help me, help me, help me,
please help me....
frustrated!!!!! fuck!!!!!!!
fucking assholes can just leave me alone !
my leg swells AGAIN!!!!!!!!!!! same leg same place same spot
having flu afta fever and flu again and fever again and...
my head's boiling and i cant seem to get the steam out..
i miss her i miss her so much!!
fuck me!!! slept when i suppose to see her!!! she waited from 945 to 11
FUCK ME!!!!!!!
bastard why is it so hard to get through these things!!!
WHY!!!!!!!!!!
WHY THE FUCK TELL ME WHY!!!!!
fuck!!!!
................
please..... i dun even know what to do!!!


fuck
fuck
fuck
fuck
fuck
fuck
fuck
fuckfuck
fuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuck

3 days late...

just wanted to say happy belated new year....
lets just hope this year everything will be better than last year okay ..
im really hopping seriously ..